In one of my previous posts I felt that a solution to keep relationships going great is to stop expecting and keep giving, giving more than the other expects and going on doing so. But just realised that somewhere, no matter how tough you may be, one hits the wall. One just can't keep giving without being reciprocated atleast 1/10th; somewhere you just can't keep on not-expecting - somewhere self-respect kicks in and that is when you've had enough of it. If the other party doesn't realise this he/she/they is/are plain uncaring, a big-time snob or just dumb!
What do in such a situation then? Just give up and throw the towel?... um.. may be..
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The art and craft of Managing
Management happens of three things
1. Business
2. People
3. Relationships
in the order of their complexity.
Managing a business is the least complex of all - there are principles, rules, scientific theories which over time with experience is enough to ward of most serious of challenges. You have clear goals, forecasting is easier and previous knowledge always helps in laying out a plan and ensuring least deviations from it.
Managing people brings in another layer of complexity because of different inherent characterisitics of different individuals. You need far more experience in knowing how a particlar trait of personality would react to a particular situation and how you can have them behave in a way you want to - there are predictable patterns that one learns albeit over a long period of time. Managing people also has some text book rules which when used skilfully can be beneficial.
Managing relationships however is a entirely different ball game. Relationships are managed without a conscious thought.
One would then think why do relationships have to be managed anyway? Don't they just happen and evolve by themselves over a period of time?
My answer would be No. Relationships cannot be allowed to get static - to be successful a relationship must continually develop and grow. It's upon us to give direction - clear, proper, suitable direction - to ensure the relationship is going the intended way. The best way to manage a relationship that one is dedicated to is to give. Yes, give. Give more than they expect. Keep adding something the other person doesn't expect. Create a positive impact with each such surplus contribution. And to do this you may first want to find out what the person wants in a relationship in the first place.
Results however will not come quick. Relatioships take a long time to build. The worst stage will be the one in which you have no idea of what the other person thinks, feels about you. At this point you feel helpless and very often disinterested. Can someone tell how to handle this phase?
1. Business
2. People
3. Relationships
in the order of their complexity.
Managing a business is the least complex of all - there are principles, rules, scientific theories which over time with experience is enough to ward of most serious of challenges. You have clear goals, forecasting is easier and previous knowledge always helps in laying out a plan and ensuring least deviations from it.
Managing people brings in another layer of complexity because of different inherent characterisitics of different individuals. You need far more experience in knowing how a particlar trait of personality would react to a particular situation and how you can have them behave in a way you want to - there are predictable patterns that one learns albeit over a long period of time. Managing people also has some text book rules which when used skilfully can be beneficial.
Managing relationships however is a entirely different ball game. Relationships are managed without a conscious thought.
One would then think why do relationships have to be managed anyway? Don't they just happen and evolve by themselves over a period of time?
My answer would be No. Relationships cannot be allowed to get static - to be successful a relationship must continually develop and grow. It's upon us to give direction - clear, proper, suitable direction - to ensure the relationship is going the intended way. The best way to manage a relationship that one is dedicated to is to give. Yes, give. Give more than they expect. Keep adding something the other person doesn't expect. Create a positive impact with each such surplus contribution. And to do this you may first want to find out what the person wants in a relationship in the first place.
Results however will not come quick. Relatioships take a long time to build. The worst stage will be the one in which you have no idea of what the other person thinks, feels about you. At this point you feel helpless and very often disinterested. Can someone tell how to handle this phase?
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